Pipe music is starting and filling the hall of Bender Arena…I received the cue from a tie-and-suit young man, picked up the U.S. flag, reminding myself a few things: to walk stably (with this new pair of Payless high heels), to point the golden Eagle at the top of the flag pole to face forward (very important, as I was told) and to hold the flag straight up so it remains as the highest among all (I am the shorted bearer, by far). I am the one to set the speed, as I am the first in the queue. I wants the walk on the red carpet to the stage to be long, so I can enjoy this glamorous moment of my life, but I want it to be short, so I can stop worrying about tripping over. I can do neither, as I am just a flag bearer, taking orders to make the whole ceremony as perfect as possible.

The flag was one and half of my height, and probably 1/3 of my weight. It seems to have its own mind when I am trying to put it in the flag holder on the stage. Finally, it’s in. The whole stage party is approaching now, so is all the faculty in their caps and gowns from universities around the world. I start to relax a bit…maybe too much, until I found myself bursting into quiet laughs, as two professors are wearing pumpkin orange and bright green gowns. The orange one came with a soft and round cap. I couldn’t help thinking of Halloween and all of a sudden, I saw the whole front row of professors looking like clowns in a circus. I started to laugh inside and forgot to return to my seat.

No one noticed my mistake, because I am the US flag bearer. Yes! Lesson #1 learned: it is always good to be special, so when you make a mistake, no one notices. Then after President Kervin announces the National Anthem singer, I, as planned, pick up the flag to step forward. Her singing is magnificent for the first five seconds. Because after that, I realize everyone is looking at the flag I am holding, murmuring or mouthing the National Anthem. I get nervous and distracted. Their eyes in the audience are filled with hope, faith, loyalty (except those who still need a work visa, probably), pride and ambition. Their faces are serious, silent and loudly reflective of unique connection each individual has had with this country. (Later, I thought it would be interesting to do research on people’s facial expression when national anthem is played…how scary! now when I think of something interesting, my mind leads me to the possibility of a research project…I must have become a boring nerd now.)

What is my connection with this country? I don’t know yet. Maybe two years of grad school. Maybe a struggling immigrant’s life. Maybe a successful attempt to raise a family and enjoy the simpleness of life. Maybe a chance to make the world a better place. That depends on what I will make out of it. I am still holding the flag, putting up a royal-like smiling face (not sure of the royal tie in my family, but I do share the family name with the President of China. Maybe in my smiles, there is a dimple of hope, a wrinkle of knowing the hard work involved, a secretful lip-biting of determination. Then I see the connections I have made with this country and through this country that I am sure of. All my dear friends in the audience. I can’t quite see their faces and eyes, but somehow I feel I could see their smiles…

The flag is getting heavier and my hands are shaking. I was told to rest the flag on my hip if I got tired. I am thinking I should do it, but I can’t find my hip bone. Lesson #2 learned: Physical strength is important, so it is ok if I gain some weight. Finally the anthem is over and I returned to my seat, but before I found my hip bone.

Speeches went by. Lessons #3 learned: I know why they always put seemingly smart people on the stage. You can’t really hear anything, because of the speaker are all facing the audience. All you receive is this confusing echo. Quickly, it moved to the last step, conferral of the degrees. Over 700 of graduates and undergraduates walked up the stage and received the diploma, with waves of cheering from the audience. Everyone of them is wearing the AU blue gown and a proud smile, holding the dark navy blue envelop with the (pretended) diploma in it. Everyone of them is also wearing a dream in their heart and a cheering from their family and friends. As the guest speaker said at the end of his speech (one of few things I heard), “I can’t wait to see what you will do”. We can’t wait to see what we can do.

Chairman Mao told us “Pride makes you lag behind”. But at this moment, I am proud. I am proud that I left my small hometown to have come this far. I am proud that I took the courage to divorce and correct a wrong decision I made for life. I am proud that I am so blessed with good friends I love with all my heart.

I know this one moment of pride will not make me lag behind. My wandering mind was awakened by eight big letters CONGRATS in the audience held by my dear friends. My eyes start to get blurred with tears…those are people I just met here and there. Those are the people who have shown me the generous and unconditional love and support. Those are the people I need to make proud. Why does China teach their children not to be proud? That’s wrong! I should make myself proud, and make my family and friends proud with achievements I have worked hard for. And to make my big friend, God, proud.

The big day is over. The peak of excitement may be followed with sweating days of hard work, dark valleys of disappointment and rejection, swamps of insecurity and doubtfulness. But I shall remember this day and remember how the opportunity of being on stage and my master degree are made possible through hard work, confidence and support from a warm circle of friends.

(Photo courtesy: Bob Stein and Beibei)

My life in Zanzibar is so different from my days in the US and China in countless ways.  One thing I have been doing here that I don’t really do elsewhere so far is to look up simple words, the vocabulary that I was required to learn in English before high school. The words I have looked up are development, poverty, wealth, happiness and some of the others. I am trying to learn what the development is trying to offer here. I am also trying to learn by giving, what we will end up taking away. Often, I find my understanding of such words are challenged.

Today I put in “creativity”. The definition is “the use of the imagination or original ideas”. How creative do I need to be in my daily life? Not much, because I need no imagination to have what I need. Everything has been imagined, invented, made, shelved at the store or on my computer. Division of labor and abundance of resources has provided me with more than enough, but also disabled me from being creative. I feel so proud that I can make a unique photo album by using Apple’s iPhoto software…but in a pre-designed template. When I do cross-stitches, I can choose from hundreds of patterns to follow, with clear instructions. Maybe creativity only belongs to artists now…

When we come to Africa, we look around and see nothing we are familiar with in our current daily life. Lack of packaged products, lack of clear instructions, lack of templates…Then we think “oh…poor people, poor children, poor country…they have nothing!!!” They are in such a need of resources. That’s why they are so underdeveloped.

But I want to show a few pictures of what I have learned about the wealth of creativity here. They are pictures from a spice tour I joined over the weekend, a school visit and a walk in a village. I admire how creative people are and I am also envious that in their life there’s room for creativity.

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Najaat and Ghaytha, beautiful and talented Studio Technicians

By now, all my friends must be drawing a big question mark in their mind, “What is she doing there?” White sand beach, mysterious Stone Town, tranquil sunset…the combination of these all can’t make a picture of a summer internship in East Africa, unless it is for hotel or tourism management. I know……sometimes I am confused too.

I have been holding my thoughts as well as my pen (keyboard) to share with you what I come here for. I tried not to be judgmental, and walked into my office, among my coworkers only with listening ears and observing eyes. This continent has received too many people and organizations telling them what to do with their homeland. I am here to learn, not to teach. I want to learn how my skills and knowledge can be used to meet their needs.

Wondeful Staff at Office

The work has been very interesting too, especially the challenges and difficulties. My arrival occurred between the ending of one project and the starting of another: RISE (Radio Instructions to Strength Education), funded by U.S. Agency of International Development, lasted five years from 2006 to 2010. During the time, it has reached over40,000 children, through 30-minutes radio programs in Swahili, math, life skills and English.  ZTUR (Zanzibar Teacher Upgrading by Radio) is a joint efforts initiated by Zanzibar Ministry of Education and Vocational Training and EDC to enhance the provision of early childhood education to preschool  teachers.

I was playing a indispensable role at a workshop

My main responsibility here is in the scope of monitoring and evaluation. One part is to  critically analyze teachers behavior change data from the past two years, to conclude and report on how teachers have improved their pedagogical knowledge and skills after a training of total five days. The training was a small component in RISE to train teachers how to better coordinate radio programs in their teaching.  The other is to design a teachers evaluation system for the Ministry of Education to assess the impact of the program on teachers’ performance in the ZTUR.

Unbelievably, how my one year of AU graduate school courses has come handy. Many tools I have learned in the program are very useful and more importantly, easy to use. For the next one month, I will be visiting schools, interview officers at MoEVT, head teachers and teachers, hold discussions with teachers to ask their opinion about what are the better ways to evaluate them. I really look forward to getting in closer touch with schools and teachers.

view from the roof of my apartment building

Zanzibar is actually an archipelago made up of two large islands, Zanzibar (Unguja) and Pemba, and several smaller  . Almost all people reside only in the two large islands. I have only come to know a couple of small ones. One is called Chapwani, which is circled by a large ring of coral reef. It is famous for being a good place to snorkel as well as the location for a failed hotel built by the Government.  Another island is called Prison Island. A scary name keeps me to

behave properly, but it is actually home to giant sea tortoises, instead of criminals.

I live in Unguja. My home is a two bedroom apartment rented by EDC (Education Development Center) as their guest house. Most of the time, I live with the organization’s Chief of Party, Emily Morris, a

Emily Eating Lunch in a Local Restaurant

Minnesotan (I seem to always hang around Minnesotans=) ) girl who has graduated from International Development Program four years ago. Emily has lived here for four years to work for EDC. So far, everything about her has impressed me and amazed me, speaking Swahili, understanding the nitty-gritty of the local culture, very committed to helping the locals.

Not uncommonly, we also have guests, either consultants from North America or office people from mainland Tanzania. Last week, this house hosted four women (from US, Canada, Dar es Salam and China). We talked, laughed, cooked and shared our beliefs, concerns and joy. We are all passionate about development from different perspectives and have much to put in already controversial conversations about the future of Africa.

Unguja is not a hard place to call home

My Bed

after all. Challenges exist. Unexpected power outage,  extremely slow internet, millions of ants in the kitchen, hungry mosquitoes, chaotic market where I have to go to buy food are all daily life, but this is a place with beautiful people, with people who are motivated to improve. I feel so lucky to have come here as my first visit to Africa. I feel my senses have been waken up to see, to listen, to feel, to comprehend the mystery of underdevelopment of Africa. Which door should we try to open so we can be really helpful to them?

Arriving at Zanzibar

Six month ago, it was my first time to hear the word “Zanzibar”. I started to ask around and made it the first time for many others. Those who didn’t respond with a question mark at the end left me words like wonderful, amazing, fascinating, romantic, mysterious… I felt confident to write this blog with all these adjectives I could use, until I arrived here one week ago. How am I going to be able to share with friends what I have seen here? It is …everything. I will start to give you a little bit history background about this island and hope together we will find traces of the past in present during the next ten weeks I am here. I am starting with two things Zanzibar is the most famous for: spices and slave trade.

Zanzibar is an island in Indian Ocean, about 40 kilometers off the coast of East Africa. Once it was an separate state, but it joined Tanganyika to form Tanzania (this is how Tanzania got its name) in 1964.  It stands as a semi-autonomous state with its own President and government of complete authority in all, except for military and international affairs.

Monsoon and Slave Trade

The Heaven for the Sailors

As early as in 7 century AD, small numbers of people migrated from Arab to East Africa, for different reasons (wars in Persia, Sultans of Oman and Persia moved here with their families and followers). Zanzibar becomes one of the big destinations, largely due to its unique location. Trade between Arab and East Africa emerged and kept growing from the second half of the first century until 19 century. Earlier, trading boats manipulated the seasonal monsoon to come to Zanzibar November-February (Northeast Monsoon) with and go back in boats loaded with gold, ivory, rhino-horn, leopard skins and tortoiseshells. Later, India and China joined in the cycle of trading, by buying ivory and selling cloth, porcelain and silk.

Not too long after, slaves became another goods in increasing demand, especially to serve the needs in Arabia and Persia. The trade in the Indian Ocean flourished through Zanzibar as a port for all the goods from the East Africa to even many countries in Southeast Asia. Until 15 and 16 Century when Portuguese came to colonize Zanzibar and later expanded to the mainland. At the end of 17 Century, Sultan of Oman gained the ruling of Zanzibar. The trading in Indian Ocean revived, especially that of slaves. By the end of 18 Century, 3,000 slaves were sold off through Zanzibar every year. Even Dutch came to search for labor to work on plantations in the East Indies.

Slave Trade to Spice Trade

Sunset from Forodhani Park

What made the change? Pressed by early British and anti-slaving attempts, the Sultan Said signed an anti-slavery treaty in 1822. Sultan Said lost his revenue from slave trade and had look for a compensating alternative. So he encouraged the development of clove plantation. By the mid 19 century, Zanzibar became one of the world’s leading clove producers. To support the clove production, an average 15,000 slaves a year were being imported into Zanzibar. It not only generated incredible wealth to the Sultan, but also many problems. The overpopulation of the island and the lack of fresh water system caused several epidemics such as malaria, cholera and smallpox. In 1858-1870, one-sixth of the population died because of cholera.

Overproduction of cloves has also led to drop of the price. Zanzibar kept its position of trading center, however with a shift to coconut, sesame seed oil, sugar and rubber. After Zanzibar became part of Tanzania, the experimenting socialist government took over the clove pricing and export. Together with the competition in the global market, Zanzibar has fell to the distant third clove exporting country, sharing only 7% of the global market. Now the foreign currency earner is tourism, but it has been hurt very hard by the economy meltdown.

Notes: I will write about my work here in later entries, but don’t want to rush to it. Everything starts with understanding of history, culture and people.

Hope to travel as butterflies. Follow my heart, slow and gentle, not disturbing, take something and also leave something sweet behind…